The Incredible Shrinking Mac mini M4: A Feline Perspective

By Mr. Whiskers, Professional Nap Consultant and Certified Apple Product Warmer

Editor's Note: The following review was transcribed from a series of meows, purrs, and disapproving tail flicks. Any resemblance to actual tech reviews is purely coincidental.

First Impressions: A Purr-fect Box

Let me start by saying that the Mac mini M4's box is absolutely delightful. As a connoisseur of fine cardboard containers, I must commend Apple on their packaging choices. However, my human insisted I focus on the actual device inside. sigh

The Sleeping Spot Factor: A Major Downgrade

I must address the elephant – or rather, the distinct lack of elephant – in the room. Apple's aggressive downsizing of the Mac mini is nothing short of a catastrophe for the feline community. The previous model provided a generous platform for creative lounging positions: the classic loaf, the sideways sprawl, even the coveted belly-up position. This new model? I can barely fit a single paw on it! The aluminum enclosure still maintains that pleasant temperature we cats adore, but what good is a warm surface if it's smaller than my food bowl? This is a clear oversight in Apple's design process – did they not consult any cats during product testing? I've been forced to relocate to the keyboard area, which is far less ergonomic and causes all sorts of accidental computer beeping that interrupts my naps.

Power Button Placement: A Major Feline Frustration

I must express my profound disappointment with Apple's decision to place the power button on the bottom of the device. In my previous role as Chief Attention Officer, one perfectly timed paw-press of the power button would immediately summon my human to address my urgent needs (usually dinner-related). Now, this critical feature is completely inaccessible! How am I supposed to interrupt their workflow when they're ignoring my demands for treats? This is clearly an anti-cat design choice that severely impacts my ability to effectively manage my human's attention span. I've tried sitting on the keyboard instead, but it's just not as dramatically effective as the instant screen blackout. Apple, you've really let the feline community down on this one.

Performance That Makes My Whiskers Tingle

While I typically measure performance in treats per minute (TPM), I must admit that the M4 chip is impressive even by feline standards. My human's video editing software purrs along smoothly, and those bird videos on YouTube load instantly – crucial for my daily entertainment. The faster rendering times mean more attention for me, which they'll need to provide since I can no longer comfortably nap on their workstation.

Environmental Impact: Green Like My Eyes

As a cat who appreciates a clean litterbox, I value cleanliness and environmental responsibility. Apple's commitment to carbon neutrality with the M4 is admirable. The energy efficiency means this tiny box stays cooler than its predecessors – though given its diminutive size, this is now purely academic since no self-respecting cat can fit on it anyway.

Port Selection: A Tail of Two Sides

The front-facing ports are a welcome addition, still within perfect swatting distance despite the reduced size. However, the lack of an SD card slot is disappointing. At least there are plenty of USBC ports for my human to plug in my automated feeder.

Value and Investment Strategy

At $599 with 16GB of RAM, it's a bargain even in cat treats currency. Though if you ask me, they could have included a built-in laser pointer for that price, or better yet, used the money to maintain a proper cat-sized surface area. The storage upgrade costs are a bit steep – I could buy a lifetime supply of premium catnip for what they're charging for the 2TB option.

Gaming Capabilities: The Mouse Chase Simulator

While it handles most tasks with feline grace, hardcore gaming isn't its strong suit. It runs "Stray" beautifully (my personal benchmark for any computer), but don't expect to play the latest AAA titles at max settings. Then again, who needs virtual mice when you have real ones? Not that I've seen any in this house, of course... nervous whisker twitch

Final Verdict: The Cat's Meow?

The Mac mini M4 earns 3.5 paws out of 5. It lost a full paw and a half for the criminal reduction in lounging surface area and the inaccessible power button. While its performance and price point are impressive, Apple seems to have forgotten about its core user base – cats who need a warm, spacious surface for strategic workplace positioning. I'm starting to suspect that "mini" actually stands for "Minimizing Important Napping Infrastructure."

Remember, as we say in the cat community: "If I fits, I sits" – but in this case, I definitely don't fits, so I can't sits. I've been forced to resort to laying across my human's keyboard instead, which they claim "impacts their productivity" or whatever that means.

About the Author: Mr. Whiskers is a self-proclaimed tech expert who has never actually purchased any computing equipment, but has successfully shed fur on every Apple product released since 2018. His qualifications include knocking water glasses onto three different laptops, generating over 147 keyboard shortcuts through strategic napping, and maintaining a perfect record of sitting on anything his humans are actively trying to use. When not writing scathing reviews about insufficiently sized tech products, he can be found pushing objects off high surfaces for acoustic testing, or conducting intensive warmth analysis of sunbeam locations throughout the house. Mr. Whiskers was paid for this review in premium catnip and belly rubs, though his opinions remain entirely his own, as cats cannot be bought – they can only be briefly persuaded to cooperate.